a common everyday approach after Erickson
4] easy stories
4 comments so far
I agree, and if we can match the story to what's missing for each client, this will allow for a better fit and some script that would require each person to translate so they cpould connect with it.
I have been reluctant to leave any of my reactions to your thoughts because I have been behind BUT now I'm caught up and am profiting from you experiences and just listening to how you think about things greatly!
With respect to LISTENING, I do my therapy in the only languages I am fluent in: English and German but I had a woman coming to me for help (I am not comfortable with either the word "client" or "patient" ...any ideas?) who only spoke "Swiss German" which I understand maybe 10%. At the first of our first sessions, I asked her to please speak "HIgh German" which she would do for maybe the next 5 minutes and then it was back to a language I could not understand.
I worked with that woman, once a week for over 2 years - and she seemed very satisfied although I certainly didn't understand over 5% of what she was saying. I'd smile when she smiled, look concerned when she looked concerned - and generally try to keep her emotional company - which seemed to be enough for her. I genuinely liked her but It was VERY strenuous work and I was happy when she felt she didn't need to come to me any more.
With respect to stories: I'm a Christian Junkie - (i.e. I am hooked on the Christian faith, but am not sure that it's good for me...but I don't worry about it much...it beats "reality") - and there are soooo many good stories in the Bible about people who really messed up - but came out OK. When some people-who-come-to-me look for what they have done wrong to deserve the predicament they are in, I can point to one of the crosses on my wall (between/among several Buddhas and an Apache peace pipe) and suggest that - by no means - are all bad situations a sign that one has done something wrong, but that maybe they are doing something RiGHT and is just getting crucified for it.
I'm a neophyte at this - and it is a relief to hear an experienced guy like you confirm that stories are valid parts of therapy and not just time-fillers. THANK YOU!!!!
Thanks Frank!!!!
What you wrote about your client is a perfect example of listening - not to the words, but to the person, and responding - not with explanations but by "keeping her emotional company".
The Bible, the writings of the Buddha, native cultures, Greek and Roman myths, Lao Tzu ... there are so many great stories.
In response to being a neophyte, Erickson said that he'd been doing this work for 50 years and was just starting to get the hang of it. I ionvite to to continue to be a neophyte. I find it much more enlivening that being an "expert" or "experienced" THANK YOU!!!!
Permission to make up stories as I go along. I like this approach much better than reading from scripts or trying to memorize them. I think it's a better approach for clients too.