Truly a gold mine of resources. This morning a client in recovery was telling me about a negative experience he'd had last week. Since I'd just listened to this talk this morning I decided to ask him what he likes to do. In twenty-five years I've heard from people about what they don't like but not what they like. I discovered this man loves to camp and fish and hasn't been in eight years since moving from Indiana, thinking no one in S.F. likes to camp and fish. Then discovered he didn't know this because he's socially phobic and has been a workaholic as a way of coping with his fear of disclosing to others that he likes to do these activities. We were able to talk about how is life is full of negativity but with nothing he likes to do. He resolved just to make a statement in his men's group that he likes these activities and has been afraid to bring this up because part of him wants to go and part of him is afraid to go. Very helpful. Thank you.

This concept of finding out what people like is so powerful for the reasons just described. I would like to add how essential it is for all of us to get in touch with what nurtures us and find a way to bring it into our lives.

I have an intake and consent form that clients are given in the first meeting. I ask two specific questions on the form - "What is your favourite way of relaxing?" and "What is it that you like most about this activity?" I find it particularly useful because immediately after completing the form, I invite more discussion about when they last enjoyed the activity. This process helps them to explain in their own terms, the things that are important to them. I pay particular attention to the language used so that I can adapt my own expression to better connect with them. It also offers useful insight into how they see, feel, hear their world.

Some lovely ideas here in this session. Much appreciated.

As well as eliciting resources and solutions through this process, it's often the case that the client, especially if they are depressed, will have ceased to do the thing that they enjoy. So by getting them to describe what they like (or used to like) about it, and helping them recreate it in guided imagery, we can often re-evoke their desire to take up that activity again. - which in turn will help them to feel better. Or, if a person can no longer do the thing that they love to do - maybe because of illness, disability, old age or because of caring for another, we can invite them to go into their imagination and memory stores and help them to vividly recreate the experience, and suggest that they can do this for themselves too, at any time.

I heard the novelist Margaret Drabble (now in her late 70s) speak the other day about the fact that it is no longer easy for her to jump in the car and do long drives to new places which she loves to discover. So she has bought herself a microscope, and now she can sit in her garden and discover whole new worlds just by putting a flower petal or a leaf or a dead insect under the lense.

WOW, I can't wait to use this!

I ALWAYS use your "what do you like to do and why do you like to do it?" questions and it does get things started in very good directions. Thanks for the tip!!!

Rob, I like the phrase " what do you like to do and why do you like to do it" because of the repetition, reversal and syntax, slight moment of confusion in understanding the question inviting intrigue and it gets to the point so quickly. Well anyway it suits my "likes". Thanks Frank.

Thanks for this important validation for my clinical practice, as I always naturally explore the 'likes' with clients. However, I'm wondering if for example a back injury is preventing someone from riding a bike (a previous like), how do you successfully shift their interest or change their likes, to something that they are better able to physically manage now?

Hi Rob, how would you apply the cycling with the - continue in the profession or retire dilemma...So the client likes cycling, being out there in the open, the space, keeping fit...how does this help his dilemma of whether to retire, or climb the ranks, study and become principal?